Hvem er psykest?
Fra Total Golf Magazine:
Your golfing career is a true odyssey. A collection of highs and lows that combine to make golf such a fantastic game.
Everyone dreams of playing like a god but golf is about so much more than the score on your card. Indeed, the more rich and varied your golfing CV, the more you appreciate what a truly God-given game it is.
However, there are some things that every golfer should try, even if it's only once.
And, here they are. From the sublime to the ridiculous, taking in the unfortunate and the never-to-be-repeated, these are the 18 things you must do in your golfing career.
1. Break 100
Finally carding a "Mr Whippy" (99) or better for the first time is one of golf's great pleasures. It marks the point at which you pass from being a bit of a hacker to a fully-fledged golfer. A spiritual moment to be savoured and although you'll almost certainly shoot 100 and plenty in your next round, getting it round in double figures rightly gives you a real sense of achievement.
2. Break 90
Breaking 90 isn't as special as breaking a ton, but it's a good indicator that you are making real progress as at around 18 over it means you're only taking a mere one shot per hole more than pros are expected to! The fact you had an eight in there is of no consequence, quite frankly.
3. Break 80
Now we're talking. Going round in single figures is what REAL players do, and you're now one of them. With your 79 or better banked, the post-round chat in the bar will almost certainly involve an awful lot of 'if only a few more putts had dropped'.
4. Drive a ball 300 yards
The joy derived from pegging up a ball and giving your driver an almighty rip is the one thing that unites every golfer. Snooty single-figure golfers might try to make out they love nothing more than getting up and down for par or striking a pure long iron, but they're lying. Like the rest of us they love nothing more than theatrically tearing off the headcover and letting the big dog eat.
5. Play an Open Championship course
Each year the esteemed gents of the R&A take their roadshow to one of the country's great seaside courses, and the entire golfing population temporarily goes mad for links golf. The most keen end up remortgaging their house to pay for the privilege of a round on an Open course. It's an experience everyone should try once because there's nothing quite like strolling down the 18th of somewhere like Birkdale imagining your name atop the famous yellow scoreboard, the packed stands rising to greet you as you doff your cap... and tap in for an ignominious triple bogey finish.
6. Blow your wages on a new set of golf clubs
Anyone who's ever set foot in a golf shop will testify that golf is an expensive sport, and the worse you're playing the more expensive it gets. Whatever your problem, from wild driving to hapless putting, the surest route to salvation seems through new kit. All you have to do now is explain your new purchase to your other other half. Best of luck.
7. Fall in a water hazard
As all golfers know, this game has a habit of kicking you when you're down and never so much as when it comes to water hazards. Not only do they swallow your shots, but they then tempt you to retrieve your ball. You know you should leave well alone, but the lure of a nearly-new ball is too much. What ensues is all too predictable. Remember, guaranteed 100 per cent waterproof shoes only live up to their billing if you don't immerse them fully.
8. Play a whole round with one club
Usually the sort of thing that's undertaken in a beery haze after a liquid lunch, playing an entire 18 holes with a single club is an enlightening experience. Not only will you play quicker as you no longer agonise like a tour player over the merits of a hard 6-iron or an easy five, but you'll also learn the mythical art of shotmaking as you have to get your one club to do the job of 14. Choose your weapon wisely though. The driver might see you miles up the fairway ahead of your 7-iron-wielding partner, but remember not even Seve could conjure it up and down from a greenside bunker with one.
9. Win a golf trophy
We're not talking about scooping a green jacket or a claret jug here, but rather a tacky plastic golfing figure mounted on an MDF plinth or a flimsy silver-plated cup. It could be the club championship or the society wooden spoon but, whatever your prize, the one thing you can be assured of is the moment you stride triumphantly through the door with the trophy, your other half will vow that thing goes on the mantelpiece over my dead body.
10. Get your other half to caddy for you
Many a golfer's mind has worked thus. Ladies enjoy romantic walks in the countryside, golf involves walking among pretty green stuff. Let's combine the two and everyone will be happy. The reality is, however, nothing like your utopian image as you reveal your hitherto hidden Roy Keane-esque temper and shock her with a torrent of swearing and she gets cold standing in the chill wind as you line up every putt from four sides.
11. Break a golf club
Sometimes this game gets too much for even the most mild mannered of us. It could have been a topped tee shot that fails to inch past the ladies tee, a fluffed chip or, most commonly, the missed tiddler. But there you are Ð your face going puce with rage, steam coming out of your ears and a primeval urge to inflict real harm on something. At this point you have two options. Calm down and get on with repairing your round, or take matters personally and destroy a club. Go on, you know it makes sense.
12. Card a hole in one
Aces come in all shapes and sizes. No one really cares whether yours was a crisply struck 4-iron or a thinned seven, the number that goes down is the same - a glorious 1. It's a majestic moment to be dined out on for ages to come, but just remember there's a bar bill to be picked up.
13. Take a sickie to play golf
Some days are just not meant for sitting behind a desk. These glorious sunny days were created by the good Lord for strolling round a golf course, so when such a day comes up you owe it to yourself to get out there and play. Just remember though, a golfer's suntan (head, neck and forearms) is incriminating evidence so cover up and slap on the sunscreen.
14. Go on a golfing holiday
It could be a weekend or a fortnight, but setting off into the golfing unknown is to be cherished. But, be warned. The build-up is the best bit as your game will have deserted you by the second day, you'll be bored of golf by the fourth, drink far too much of the local brew and vow never to go on another golf trip ever again. Until next time...
15. Drive a par 4
No matter what your handicap, one thing that's guaranteed to get the adrenaline going is teeing it up on a reachable par 4. All that's stood between you and a putt for an eagle is a decent tee shot. And although the end result is usually a lightning fast swing and either a feeble top or a huge slice, now and then you do make the dance floor. Having got it there all you now need to do is coax your ball into the hole for that magical two or a three. Er, no pressure then.
16. Attend a tour event
Great though watching golf on TV is, it can't compare with seeing Tiger and Co in action. If you've ever doubted these guys play a different game to us lot, then you'll become a believer the minute you've seen the first silky smooth swing ease the ball effortlessly down the fairway. The only drawback are the views, but remember you can always retire to the beer tent and and watch proceedings from the big screen.
17. Drive a golf buggy in an inappropriate fashion
You do, of course, understand we're not condoning any sort of Banana Splits style rampaging across the fairways. But, there are few better antidotes to a three-putt than creating a dust storm courtesy of a wheel spin, double donut combo. But we never told you that. Right?
18. Buy a golfing gadget
We all know that the best way to get our game back on track is a few hours down the range, but we're an impatient lot, so enter the golfing gadgets promising a simple diagnosis and quick fix. From baseball caps which beep to alert you to the heinous crime of an errant head movement, to weirdy-beardy pendants to keep us calm, there's a myriad of paraphernalia on offer to tempt the troubled golfer. The one thing that you can be sure of is that after the novelty of practising with your new gadget has worn off (approximately two days), they're destined to live out the remainder of their days in the cupboard under the stairs.
